Today we finished the second day of föräldrautbildning (parental education). In a room with six other couples, we spent several hours talking about anything and everything related to labor, pain management, hospitals and childcare. The midwife who ran the session began by separating us into male and female groups and told us to write down any questions we had. Thus began our discussion. In Sweden, this education is an opportunity that all soon-to-be parents can take advantage of and I feel really grateful for that. It was hugely informative and I was able to express what I was unsure about and get answers. I also learned about things I didn't even know to think about, like TENS (electrical nerve stimulation). We watched a birthing video, but it wasn't really what you would imagine. It was mostly partners being very attentive to their laboring women, women trying out different positions on railings or pilates balls and the use of laughing gas. We also watched a birth where the woman knelt. We also watched a movie about breastfeeding where we learned about baby signals the proper techniques. The fun part was a section about dads' roles... zoom into dads vacuuming, grocery shopping, changing diapers and snuggling with their babies. My general impression is that pregnancy and labor, along with parenting, is really stressed as a partnership here. As it should be!
The other fun thing about this course was that we met two other couples who will be in our new neighborhood, including one couple that live just a few feet down the street from us. Most likely we will all meet again once we are organized into parent groups.
In Sweden, unlike the US, the vast majority of women are attended to by a midwife. When I called the midwife center in May, I was assigned a midwife. Her name is Pirkko and she's awesome. Luckily, since I didn't have any other options! She has seen me every five weeks up until recently, and it's now every two weeks. When I go to the hospital, she won't be there. It's not her job. There will be entirely new crew of midwives that I've never met.
Last week I went on a tour of the labor floor at Södersjukhuset (the hospital where we will likely go.) There are 10 quite enormous rooms and each room looks like it belongs in a hotel. There is a bathtub in 9 out of the 10 rooms, a huge kingsize bed, a TV and sound system where you can plug in music and some contraptions for holding onto when you have a contraction. Each woman gets a room to herself and is assigned a midwife. There is a doctor on duty at all times. For every night that I spend there I will be charged roughly $14.
All things related to prenatal care are free in Sweden, including the visits to your midwife, two ultrasounds and classes to prepare you for being a parent. I had the choice of yoga or lamaze classes. Micke attended a blivande pappor (becoming a dad) course where he could chat with other dudes about how crazy their pregnant partners are and how to handle them, how to raise a baby, questions about labor or whatever else they wanted to talk about. I imagine it was an awesome place to commiserate and/or celebrate becoming a father.
The idea of getting health care in another country has never been an especially appealing thought to me, rather it's something that makes me pretty uncomfortable. It feels unfamiliar and unknown. When I realized that I would most likely be giving birth in Sweden I wasn't sure how the experience would be, I just assumed it wouldn't be as good as the care I would have gotten in the US. Especially once I understood that it's practically rare to see an ObGyn. As it turns out, ironically, having a midwife approach is one of the things that I most appreciate here! They use the philosophy that intervention is a last minute resort and if all is going well, keep pregnancy and labor as simple and natural as possible. Apart from the mean lady at SÖS who told me I was wrong when I said I felt displeased and worried with the way our second ultrasound was conducted, overall it's been great.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Getting a Swedish Driver's License
It's been months since I last updated this blog and I don't have any great excuses other than I've been preparing baby stuff, studying for tests and bearing the crappiest and darkest month in Sweden. I passed out of SFI (Svenska för Invandrare- Swedish for Immigrants) and then had to take the SAS test (Svenska som Andra Språk- Swedish as a Second Language). According to these tests I apparently have the Swedish level of a 7th or 8th grader.
But the real accomplishment of the month is I passed my driver's license test!!! This may seem like small potatoes to anyone not familiar with the Swedish system, but I assure you, it was an expensive and time consuming ordeal... It goes like this:
1) Apply for a driver's permit
2) Halkbana: Spend 4 hours (mandated) with a group of 11 other people driving as fast as you can on a slippery road course and trying to avoid cones. This actually was really fun and useful. Then we talked about accidents and saw cars like this. There was a lot of the word "slippa" used. As in the instructor hoped that we are able to avoid meeting such a fate.
3) Riskettan: Spend 3 hours (mandated) in a classroom talking about alcohol, wild animals and masculine and feminine driving traits. This also included some very gruesome, and real, footage of traffic accidents. It makes you want to avoid driving and being near any road. Ever.
4) Spend hours and hours reading and rereading 400+ pages of detailed information about such things as how to safely set up a trailer and towing weights, how to drive in different scenarios, eco-driving, the difference between motorways and carriageways (yup! you also have to familiarize yourself with British English too!) how each of the greenhouse gases released from cars affects the environment and humans, catalytic converters, hundreds of signs and what the color of each represents, how to pass on highways, parking rules, reaction speed and braking distances, how many meters away your lights can detect people in light and dark color clothes, statistics of accidents by age groups and by type of accident, knowledge of everything under the hood, child safety and how each component of the car functions (brakes, steering, etc.) among other things.
5) Take 10 online practice tests. Each test has 70 questions, which looks like this:
6) Study more.
7) Take hour long driving lessons where you are reminded that you know nothing about the right hand rule. And if you don't look in the rearview mirror every 5 seconds you will probably fail.
8) Sign up for the theory test, a computerized test of 71 questions on a computer. You have to get at least 52 right out of 65 to pass. There are 5 uncounted questions, but you have no idea which ones they are. This test was hard, way harder than the questions I prepared with. My face got all hot and I was in full panic mode. Most of my questions were scenario questions, for example, a picture of a curve on a country road with a dotted line that turns to a solid line just where there are people picking berries on the side of the road. With most questions there are 4 possible options you can pick from and you must show that you know how to best handle that situation. Or it might be 4 traffic signs and you have to pick which of them (or potentially none) would be seen on a highway.
9) Sign up for the driving test, a 45 minute drive which includes safety checks (lights, tires, brakes, steering and where to find the radiator coolant, motor oil, brake fluid and battery.) Lucky for me I unknowingly signed up for the worst place in the country to take the test: Farsta. http://www.metro.se/stockholm/svarast-i-landet-att-kora-upp-i-farsta/EVHlfB!bJ18WDurVQHns/
Many people don't pass these tests (an average of 46% failure rates in all of Sweden.) When I was still taking my theory test one guy started yelling YES! YES! FINALLY PASSED AFTER 5 MONTHS!!
But my my driving test wasn't bad, the man judging my skills was friendly but not overly chatty. I heard stories of Americans being taunted for their reputation as bad drivers and having to defend themselves while taking the test (which didn't end well.) The traffic school prepared me pretty well for what the instructors would be looking for. I did some small safety checks inside the car, drove on small roads and highways, parallel parked, reversed directions several times and then came back to the center.
Despite all the stress and time, I do think it's helpful to know much of the info and a little embarrassing that I previously lacked basic knowledge about car functions. It also made me think about people driving in Sweden who don't understand the traffic rules here. I listed some of the biggest differences below that I found from driving in the US:
- The righthand rule. Unless you are on a main road (which is shown, sometimes at random, by a yellow diamond sign) you must slow at every junction in case some car arrives on the righthand side, and in which case, they have the right of way. And the fun thing about this is that a road can change from a main road to a non-main road several times within a short span.
- On the highway the car driving on the right lane absolutely can not go faster than the cars on the left.
- If you are involved in an accident you are required to stay there as long as it takes. If the accident involves personal injury, you can be imprisoned if you leave the scene (even as a witness!)
- If you miss a stop sign or run a red light your license will be revoked on the spot.
- No turning on red lights.
- 0.2 mille of alcohol in your body will get you up to 6 months in jail and if it's 1.0 or above you can expect 6 years in jail, plus fines according to your income on both accounts.
I found the severity of traffic offenses really interesting, especially in light of the fact that you might get a similar jail sentence for driving drunk with a 1.0 level as for murdering someone.
But the real accomplishment of the month is I passed my driver's license test!!! This may seem like small potatoes to anyone not familiar with the Swedish system, but I assure you, it was an expensive and time consuming ordeal... It goes like this:
1) Apply for a driver's permit
2) Halkbana: Spend 4 hours (mandated) with a group of 11 other people driving as fast as you can on a slippery road course and trying to avoid cones. This actually was really fun and useful. Then we talked about accidents and saw cars like this. There was a lot of the word "slippa" used. As in the instructor hoped that we are able to avoid meeting such a fate.
3) Riskettan: Spend 3 hours (mandated) in a classroom talking about alcohol, wild animals and masculine and feminine driving traits. This also included some very gruesome, and real, footage of traffic accidents. It makes you want to avoid driving and being near any road. Ever.
4) Spend hours and hours reading and rereading 400+ pages of detailed information about such things as how to safely set up a trailer and towing weights, how to drive in different scenarios, eco-driving, the difference between motorways and carriageways (yup! you also have to familiarize yourself with British English too!) how each of the greenhouse gases released from cars affects the environment and humans, catalytic converters, hundreds of signs and what the color of each represents, how to pass on highways, parking rules, reaction speed and braking distances, how many meters away your lights can detect people in light and dark color clothes, statistics of accidents by age groups and by type of accident, knowledge of everything under the hood, child safety and how each component of the car functions (brakes, steering, etc.) among other things.
5) Take 10 online practice tests. Each test has 70 questions, which looks like this:
6) Study more.
7) Take hour long driving lessons where you are reminded that you know nothing about the right hand rule. And if you don't look in the rearview mirror every 5 seconds you will probably fail.
8) Sign up for the theory test, a computerized test of 71 questions on a computer. You have to get at least 52 right out of 65 to pass. There are 5 uncounted questions, but you have no idea which ones they are. This test was hard, way harder than the questions I prepared with. My face got all hot and I was in full panic mode. Most of my questions were scenario questions, for example, a picture of a curve on a country road with a dotted line that turns to a solid line just where there are people picking berries on the side of the road. With most questions there are 4 possible options you can pick from and you must show that you know how to best handle that situation. Or it might be 4 traffic signs and you have to pick which of them (or potentially none) would be seen on a highway.
9) Sign up for the driving test, a 45 minute drive which includes safety checks (lights, tires, brakes, steering and where to find the radiator coolant, motor oil, brake fluid and battery.) Lucky for me I unknowingly signed up for the worst place in the country to take the test: Farsta. http://www.metro.se/stockholm/svarast-i-landet-att-kora-upp-i-farsta/EVHlfB!bJ18WDurVQHns/
Many people don't pass these tests (an average of 46% failure rates in all of Sweden.) When I was still taking my theory test one guy started yelling YES! YES! FINALLY PASSED AFTER 5 MONTHS!!
But my my driving test wasn't bad, the man judging my skills was friendly but not overly chatty. I heard stories of Americans being taunted for their reputation as bad drivers and having to defend themselves while taking the test (which didn't end well.) The traffic school prepared me pretty well for what the instructors would be looking for. I did some small safety checks inside the car, drove on small roads and highways, parallel parked, reversed directions several times and then came back to the center.
Despite all the stress and time, I do think it's helpful to know much of the info and a little embarrassing that I previously lacked basic knowledge about car functions. It also made me think about people driving in Sweden who don't understand the traffic rules here. I listed some of the biggest differences below that I found from driving in the US:
- The righthand rule. Unless you are on a main road (which is shown, sometimes at random, by a yellow diamond sign) you must slow at every junction in case some car arrives on the righthand side, and in which case, they have the right of way. And the fun thing about this is that a road can change from a main road to a non-main road several times within a short span.
- On the highway the car driving on the right lane absolutely can not go faster than the cars on the left.
- If you are involved in an accident you are required to stay there as long as it takes. If the accident involves personal injury, you can be imprisoned if you leave the scene (even as a witness!)
- If you miss a stop sign or run a red light your license will be revoked on the spot.
- No turning on red lights.
- 0.2 mille of alcohol in your body will get you up to 6 months in jail and if it's 1.0 or above you can expect 6 years in jail, plus fines according to your income on both accounts.
I found the severity of traffic offenses really interesting, especially in light of the fact that you might get a similar jail sentence for driving drunk with a 1.0 level as for murdering someone.
Friday, November 22, 2013
5 Fun Swedish Words & Connotations
Hamstrare (a hoarder)
This comes from the word hamster (same in English) since they collect collect food in their mouths to transport/save for later.
Oskuld (virginity)
This literally means no debt or guilt!
Gift (marriage/poison)
The same word is used for both poison and marriage. What does this say about Swedes? Maybe not surprising how few Swedes decide to marry...
Nyckelpiga (ladybug)
Nyckel = key
Piga = maid/servant
Hmm?
Trollkarl (magician)
Troll = a troll
Karl= man
This comes from the word hamster (same in English) since they collect collect food in their mouths to transport/save for later.
Oskuld (virginity)
This literally means no debt or guilt!
Gift (marriage/poison)
The same word is used for both poison and marriage. What does this say about Swedes? Maybe not surprising how few Swedes decide to marry...
Nyckelpiga (ladybug)
Nyckel = key
Piga = maid/servant
Hmm?
Trollkarl (magician)
Troll = a troll
Karl= man
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
US Visit
I've heard that one of the best ways to adjust to culture shock in your new country is to visit your home for a few weeks. This is meant to remind you of all the annoyances that you experience there as well. Even though this sounds like a good idea in theory, it hasn't seemed to work out like that for me. I'm generally just really happy to be back and with the people who I have grown up with over the years. And maybe I've lived abroad enough to know what to expect when I come back, or maybe it's not enough actual time in the US. But either way this past week I had one of those wonderful times being home. It was the perfect mixture of time with family, friends and outdoor activities.
I started my week at Lake Honnedaga, a tiny piece of heaven in the Adirondack Mountains. It's 40 minutes from the closest town and the only way to get around is by boat or walking. As soon as I got out of the car and walked down to the docks, the sound of silence almost overwhelmed me. No rustling or waves, just complete quiet.
Then all of the childhood memories came back from my summers growing up here. Playing on the sandy beaches, walks along the lake trail stopping in to visit the camps we passed by, my aunt Jeannie teaching me how to waterski, the boy I had a crush on from age 6-18 (who always liked my sister better), my friend Sarah's dad driving the boat around in circles as we flew up off the inner tube with total joy, eating s'mores in leantos, painting fungi with my grandfather, the nights we spent drinking beer and getting into trouble (since you can hear a pin drop half a mile away nothing was much of a secret from our parents), the summer I spent working there when I was 16, Honnedaga weekend talent shows and the Bacon Brothers shows, and hiking out in the middle of the night to campsites 3 miles away just to scare the shit out of your friends. Every year we spent a week in August at Honnedaga, sharing a cabin with my aunt, cousins and grandparents. It's a place where many of the families (including mine) have been journeying there for generations. It's also quite a gossipy place, there is not much to do other than hiking, water-sports and sitting on the docks chatting with whoever is around. There is still no phone reception and the lodge is the only place you can check the internet. It's comforting that after 7 years of being away, nothing has really changed. There were a few new faces, but otherwise it's exactly the same as I remembered.
After leaving Honnedaga, my mom and I drove along Route 12 through green farms, barns, antique shops and victorian towns. The green rolling hills of upstate New York. I thought about the six hour drive as a child and the small toys my mom gave us every hour to keep us occupied and the parks where she would let us out to run around.
Back in Pennsylvania, my soul sister and cousin Tracy was on her way back from NY to work on her new restaurant in Philadelphia. So I was lucky enough to get to catch her for a few hours as we exchanged stories, pictures and talked about east coast vs the west. Then I rushed home to meet my friend Webb who was traveling from a conference in Geneva to her new PhD home at Penn State. She made the unbelievable effort of taking a detour from her already 5 hour drive to come see me and bring me wonderful baby gifts. It was a perfect day getting to see two old friends!
The next morning I took an early flight to Phoenix and drove to Sedona for my best friend's wedding. Sadly, it rained more than it is ever supposed to in the high desert, but it was still wonderful to be there among the mountains and red rocks. We attempted a hike of Bear Mountain only to be surrounded by huge dark clouds on all side and get completely drenched on our scramble down the steep rocks. The thing I love so much about small weddings is that you really get to know the other people, and because there were so many food and outdoor activities together, I had a chance to spend time with some really cool people. One of my new friends had recently moved from DC to Palm Springs, CA and was talking about how happy she is not be the weird one anymore, since in Palm Springs it's an anything goes kind of place. I guess I realized I had made the reverse commute. Going from SF where everyone waves their freak flag without abandon and there so much acceptance in general to Stockholm where it feels so stifling and conformist. I am definitely the weird one who likes cleanses and yoga. I guess I haven't found the right people yet either.
Before leaving Sedona I saw Lauren and her longtime love get married in one of the most spectacular settings under a huge blue sky and the rocks towing above them. Simple and beautiful.
Afterwards, I squeezed in a short hike with panoramas of the whole valley. And took in the sensory mixture of the cacti and red earth together with the sweet smells of rosemary, juniper and sage. I also gave my first wedding toast and managed to remember most of my speech. Woohoo! Sadly, I had to leave the reception early to begin the long trip back to Sweden.
The thing I miss the most living here in Sweden, other than the obvious favorite people and places, and the variety of available foods, is the people to people interaction. When walking on the trails in Sedona people smile and acknowledge you, when buying a snack at the Chicago airport the clerk asked me when I started showing and shared with me that she was 2 months pregnant. It's these random and lovely interactions that make living in a city bearable. It's feels so much less isolating when the people around treat you like you actually exist. I think the Swedes, much like I found the people who live in London, are afraid of meeting new people and reaching out to someone they don't know. And now, I just realized, I have stopped even trying when I'm here. Which is even more depressing.
I started my week at Lake Honnedaga, a tiny piece of heaven in the Adirondack Mountains. It's 40 minutes from the closest town and the only way to get around is by boat or walking. As soon as I got out of the car and walked down to the docks, the sound of silence almost overwhelmed me. No rustling or waves, just complete quiet.
Then all of the childhood memories came back from my summers growing up here. Playing on the sandy beaches, walks along the lake trail stopping in to visit the camps we passed by, my aunt Jeannie teaching me how to waterski, the boy I had a crush on from age 6-18 (who always liked my sister better), my friend Sarah's dad driving the boat around in circles as we flew up off the inner tube with total joy, eating s'mores in leantos, painting fungi with my grandfather, the nights we spent drinking beer and getting into trouble (since you can hear a pin drop half a mile away nothing was much of a secret from our parents), the summer I spent working there when I was 16, Honnedaga weekend talent shows and the Bacon Brothers shows, and hiking out in the middle of the night to campsites 3 miles away just to scare the shit out of your friends. Every year we spent a week in August at Honnedaga, sharing a cabin with my aunt, cousins and grandparents. It's a place where many of the families (including mine) have been journeying there for generations. It's also quite a gossipy place, there is not much to do other than hiking, water-sports and sitting on the docks chatting with whoever is around. There is still no phone reception and the lodge is the only place you can check the internet. It's comforting that after 7 years of being away, nothing has really changed. There were a few new faces, but otherwise it's exactly the same as I remembered.
After leaving Honnedaga, my mom and I drove along Route 12 through green farms, barns, antique shops and victorian towns. The green rolling hills of upstate New York. I thought about the six hour drive as a child and the small toys my mom gave us every hour to keep us occupied and the parks where she would let us out to run around.
Back in Pennsylvania, my soul sister and cousin Tracy was on her way back from NY to work on her new restaurant in Philadelphia. So I was lucky enough to get to catch her for a few hours as we exchanged stories, pictures and talked about east coast vs the west. Then I rushed home to meet my friend Webb who was traveling from a conference in Geneva to her new PhD home at Penn State. She made the unbelievable effort of taking a detour from her already 5 hour drive to come see me and bring me wonderful baby gifts. It was a perfect day getting to see two old friends!
The next morning I took an early flight to Phoenix and drove to Sedona for my best friend's wedding. Sadly, it rained more than it is ever supposed to in the high desert, but it was still wonderful to be there among the mountains and red rocks. We attempted a hike of Bear Mountain only to be surrounded by huge dark clouds on all side and get completely drenched on our scramble down the steep rocks. The thing I love so much about small weddings is that you really get to know the other people, and because there were so many food and outdoor activities together, I had a chance to spend time with some really cool people. One of my new friends had recently moved from DC to Palm Springs, CA and was talking about how happy she is not be the weird one anymore, since in Palm Springs it's an anything goes kind of place. I guess I realized I had made the reverse commute. Going from SF where everyone waves their freak flag without abandon and there so much acceptance in general to Stockholm where it feels so stifling and conformist. I am definitely the weird one who likes cleanses and yoga. I guess I haven't found the right people yet either.
Before leaving Sedona I saw Lauren and her longtime love get married in one of the most spectacular settings under a huge blue sky and the rocks towing above them. Simple and beautiful.
Afterwards, I squeezed in a short hike with panoramas of the whole valley. And took in the sensory mixture of the cacti and red earth together with the sweet smells of rosemary, juniper and sage. I also gave my first wedding toast and managed to remember most of my speech. Woohoo! Sadly, I had to leave the reception early to begin the long trip back to Sweden.
The thing I miss the most living here in Sweden, other than the obvious favorite people and places, and the variety of available foods, is the people to people interaction. When walking on the trails in Sedona people smile and acknowledge you, when buying a snack at the Chicago airport the clerk asked me when I started showing and shared with me that she was 2 months pregnant. It's these random and lovely interactions that make living in a city bearable. It's feels so much less isolating when the people around treat you like you actually exist. I think the Swedes, much like I found the people who live in London, are afraid of meeting new people and reaching out to someone they don't know. And now, I just realized, I have stopped even trying when I'm here. Which is even more depressing.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Mom was in Sweden!
In the beginning of July my mom came to visit! Her first time in Sweden!
We had a whirlwind drive in 4 days:
Helsingborg- Lund- Smygehuk- Ystad- Simrishamn- Stenhuvud National Park- Eksjö- Jönköping- Gränna- Mariefred- Stockholm
On the ride down to the south the familiar thick covering of trees made way for wide open fields of lavender, wheat, rye and bright yellow rapeseed flowers, windmills and red farm houses. The south of Sweden has long been an inspiration for painters and artists.
Before meeting my mom and her friend Mandy I took the train to Malmö to check out Sweden's most southern and multicultural city. Malmö is connected to Copenhagen by the massive 5 mile Öresund bridge, so it has a distinctively Danish influence. The region of Skåne was also occupied by the Danes for a long time. Malmö is the site of Sweden's only skyscraper, the Turning Torso, which you can see all the way from Denmark! Not surprising since there are few high buildings in Sweden and plenty of clean air.
We started our trip in Helsingborg, a city on the southwest coast of Sweden. I was only here for a short evening, but we ate great Indian food and saw this view from a castle.
Our first stop was the university town of Lund. While looking for the botanical gardens we found the cemetery instead, which was an unexpectedly beautiful place. All of southern Sweden seemed to be covered in flowers and Lund was no exception.
On our way to Ystad we visited the very small seaside town Smygehuk, we drove through it before realizing we had passed through the entire town. Smygehuk is the southernmost point of Sweden (55 degrees latitude.) Which, for the record, is on the same level as parts of southern Alaska. No place in the continental US in on the same latitude. Also, Sweden is kind of far from everything, in case you didn't know.
Next we found ourselves in the town of Ystad. Cobbled streets, flowers and lopsided semi-tudor style houses (but between the wood slabs are painted bricks. I don't know what this style of house is called.) I am about to read one of Henning Mankell's Detective Wallander stories that Ystad is famous for. We also biked out to a spice "farm," which was like an olfactory and sensory dream. The next morning Mandy and I did yoga on the pier. Heaven!
Along the shores of the enormous Vättern lake sits the quaint town of Gränna that smells like candy! The little red and white peppermint rock candies that look like pillows and still taste so good are from this adorable place. In Swedish they are called polkagris. You can even watch how the candies are made in some of the stores.
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In the village of Mariefred, which sits outside Stockholm, sits a gorgeous castle on the shores of Lake Mälaren. Gripsholm Slott is from the late 1300's and complete with a moat and drawbridge! Like a real castle should be! With the sun shining, boats drifting by and the smell of chestnut trees wafting through the air, it's absolutely lovely there. There is also an old rune stone from the Viking times.
We had a whirlwind drive in 4 days:
Helsingborg- Lund- Smygehuk- Ystad- Simrishamn- Stenhuvud National Park- Eksjö- Jönköping- Gränna- Mariefred- Stockholm
On the ride down to the south the familiar thick covering of trees made way for wide open fields of lavender, wheat, rye and bright yellow rapeseed flowers, windmills and red farm houses. The south of Sweden has long been an inspiration for painters and artists.
Before meeting my mom and her friend Mandy I took the train to Malmö to check out Sweden's most southern and multicultural city. Malmö is connected to Copenhagen by the massive 5 mile Öresund bridge, so it has a distinctively Danish influence. The region of Skåne was also occupied by the Danes for a long time. Malmö is the site of Sweden's only skyscraper, the Turning Torso, which you can see all the way from Denmark! Not surprising since there are few high buildings in Sweden and plenty of clean air.
Our first stop was the university town of Lund. While looking for the botanical gardens we found the cemetery instead, which was an unexpectedly beautiful place. All of southern Sweden seemed to be covered in flowers and Lund was no exception.
According to Lonely Planet, Eksjö is one of the most exquisitely preserved wooden towns in Sweden. It so charming with colorful, unsymmetrical and lopsided houses dating from the 1700's.
Along the shores of the enormous Vättern lake sits the quaint town of Gränna that smells like candy! The little red and white peppermint rock candies that look like pillows and still taste so good are from this adorable place. In Swedish they are called polkagris. You can even watch how the candies are made in some of the stores.
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In the village of Mariefred, which sits outside Stockholm, sits a gorgeous castle on the shores of Lake Mälaren. Gripsholm Slott is from the late 1300's and complete with a moat and drawbridge! Like a real castle should be! With the sun shining, boats drifting by and the smell of chestnut trees wafting through the air, it's absolutely lovely there. There is also an old rune stone from the Viking times.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Being Pregnant in Sweden
What's it like being pregnant in Sweden?
Well, it feels like I blend in with the rest of the female population. Looking around Stockholm there are women with massive strollers and pregnant bellies everywhere. Latte mamas who gather to drink coffee with their other gal pals who are also on mammaledig (maternity leave) with their small children.
I assume that due to the unexceptional manner of being pregnant here, and that women are seen as equals to men even when pregnant, that pregnant ladies do not get any special treatment. I watched my 9 month pregnant future sister-in-law ask for a seat on the bus after no one moved for several minutes. No one will ask if you need help with carrying your groceries or other heavy things. And there is absolutely no one patting your belly.
But on the other hand there are some other perks that I would never ever get in the US. The largest and most amazing is obviously the 18 month parental leave shared between both parents. YESSSS! And the free maternal healthcare in a country ranked as the second best place in the world to have a child... beat only by the amazing Finland where I just read that the government sends starter kits filled with diapers, warm clothes, food and other necessities to the parents of every single newborn! How freaking amazing is that?
Another thing I love about Sweden is the male involvement. In my Gravid app (Pregnancy app) there are sections that talks about the mom, the baby and the partner. Every week. In the partner section, for example, last week it talked about how the partner should think about what kind of parent he/she wants to be and about discussing the distribution of parenting duties with your pregnant lady. I just think it's so great!
As a result of being raised in Sweden, or just because he's awesome, Micke knows more about what's happening with this pregnancy than I do. When I complain about being out of breath he reminds me it's because I now have 40-50% more blood in my body. And not surprisingly, many men take a very active role in parenting here in Sweden. It's a lovely sight to see a group of men taking a walk with their strollers along the water.
But the last thing I want to bring up is the lack of judgement regarding kids before marriage. I think this is partly due to the fact that Swedish sambos (partners who live together) are seen as almost equally significant to married partners within the law and within society. When Micke and I decided to have a baby before we talked about getting married it seemed absolutely normal to us. Not only because neither of us thinks that a piece of paper changes the commitment you feel towards someone else, but also because the majority of our Swedish friends have one or two children before they decided to get married. Or they are engaged for an indefinite amount of time, during which they might also have a child. There is even research about it: http://www.nordicreach.com/its_about/lifestyle/135/
Even though this trend is increasingly common in the US I get nervous every single time I tell a friend of family member, mostly because after telling a few people I realized that everyone thinks I got knocked up. Having to respond to so many questions like, oh so does that mean you'll have a quick wedding before the baby comes? Or did you mess up your birth control? Or statements like, well at least you got engaged before you found out about the baby. I guess I never realized just how traditional so many people (including my 30 year old friends!) still are in the US. I mean, I don't come from Alabama or whatever. I will be excited to get married when we are ready, and when we can decide on a country in which to have a wedding. But until then, I am just excited about the little girl who is coming in January!!
Well, it feels like I blend in with the rest of the female population. Looking around Stockholm there are women with massive strollers and pregnant bellies everywhere. Latte mamas who gather to drink coffee with their other gal pals who are also on mammaledig (maternity leave) with their small children.
I assume that due to the unexceptional manner of being pregnant here, and that women are seen as equals to men even when pregnant, that pregnant ladies do not get any special treatment. I watched my 9 month pregnant future sister-in-law ask for a seat on the bus after no one moved for several minutes. No one will ask if you need help with carrying your groceries or other heavy things. And there is absolutely no one patting your belly.
But on the other hand there are some other perks that I would never ever get in the US. The largest and most amazing is obviously the 18 month parental leave shared between both parents. YESSSS! And the free maternal healthcare in a country ranked as the second best place in the world to have a child... beat only by the amazing Finland where I just read that the government sends starter kits filled with diapers, warm clothes, food and other necessities to the parents of every single newborn! How freaking amazing is that?
As a result of being raised in Sweden, or just because he's awesome, Micke knows more about what's happening with this pregnancy than I do. When I complain about being out of breath he reminds me it's because I now have 40-50% more blood in my body. And not surprisingly, many men take a very active role in parenting here in Sweden. It's a lovely sight to see a group of men taking a walk with their strollers along the water. But the last thing I want to bring up is the lack of judgement regarding kids before marriage. I think this is partly due to the fact that Swedish sambos (partners who live together) are seen as almost equally significant to married partners within the law and within society. When Micke and I decided to have a baby before we talked about getting married it seemed absolutely normal to us. Not only because neither of us thinks that a piece of paper changes the commitment you feel towards someone else, but also because the majority of our Swedish friends have one or two children before they decided to get married. Or they are engaged for an indefinite amount of time, during which they might also have a child. There is even research about it: http://www.nordicreach.com/its_about/lifestyle/135/
Even though this trend is increasingly common in the US I get nervous every single time I tell a friend of family member, mostly because after telling a few people I realized that everyone thinks I got knocked up. Having to respond to so many questions like, oh so does that mean you'll have a quick wedding before the baby comes? Or did you mess up your birth control? Or statements like, well at least you got engaged before you found out about the baby. I guess I never realized just how traditional so many people (including my 30 year old friends!) still are in the US. I mean, I don't come from Alabama or whatever. I will be excited to get married when we are ready, and when we can decide on a country in which to have a wedding. But until then, I am just excited about the little girl who is coming in January!!
Monday, August 5, 2013
First Visitors
It's always fun to show people around and to see a place that you've become accustomed to through fresh eyes. Their impressions of how quiet the city is (event hough it's busy compared to the winter when everyone was in hibernation), the sheer number and size of the strollers and how delicious and clean our water tastes.
My sister was only here for 2 days but we packed a lot into the time, including:
- Scenic overlooks in Södermalm
- Tour of Drottningholm Palace
- Boat trip through the archipelago
- A fika at Sturekatten
- Meeting my fiancé's siblings
- Skansen
- Vasa Museet
- Walk around Djurgården
- Rushed visit to Design Torget for a little Scandinavian shopping
- Drinks at Mosebacke
- Eating traditional Swedish food at Pelikan, including the very best Swedish meatballs (in my
humble opinion)
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| Boat ride |
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| Eating meatballs, with the requisite brown sauce, lingonberry sauce and pickles |
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| After 11 PM in Södermalm |
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| Sami houses in Skansen Park |
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| Drottningholm |
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| Lunch at Rosendals Trädgårdscafe in Djurgården |
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| Strong coffee and Swedish treats. A real fika. |
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