Mom was in Sweden!

In the beginning of July my mom came to visit! Her first time in Sweden!

We had a whirlwind drive in 4 days:
Helsingborg- Lund- Smygehuk- Ystad- Simrishamn- Stenhuvud National Park- Eksjö- Jönköping- Gränna- Mariefred- Stockholm

On the ride down to the south the familiar thick covering of trees made way for wide open fields of lavender, wheat, rye and bright yellow rapeseed flowers, windmills and red farm houses. The south of Sweden has long been an inspiration for painters and artists.

Before meeting my mom and her friend Mandy I took the train to Malmö to check out Sweden's most southern and multicultural city. Malmö is connected to Copenhagen by the massive 5 mile Öresund bridge, so it has a distinctively Danish influence.  The region of Skåne was also occupied by the Danes for a long time. Malmö is the site of Sweden's only skyscraper, the Turning Torso, which you can see all the way from Denmark! Not surprising since there are few high buildings in Sweden and plenty of clean air.

 

We started our trip in Helsingborg, a city on the southwest coast of Sweden. I was only here for a short evening, but we ate great Indian food and saw this view from a castle.

Our first stop was the university town of Lund.  While looking for the botanical gardens we found the cemetery instead, which was an unexpectedly beautiful place.  All of southern Sweden seemed to be covered in flowers and Lund was no exception.

On our way to Ystad we visited the very small seaside town Smygehuk, we drove through it before realizing we had passed through the entire town. Smygehuk is the southernmost point of Sweden (55 degrees latitude.) Which, for the record, is on the same level as parts of southern Alaska. No place in the continental US in on the same latitude. Also, Sweden is kind of far from everything, in case you didn't know.

Next we found ourselves in the town of Ystad. Cobbled streets, flowers and lopsided semi-tudor style houses (but between the wood slabs are painted bricks. I don't know what this style of house is called.) I am about to read one of Henning Mankell's Detective Wallander stories that Ystad is famous for. We also biked out to a spice "farm," which was like an olfactory and sensory dream. The next morning Mandy and I did yoga on the pier. Heaven!

According to Lonely Planet, Eksjö is one of the most exquisitely preserved wooden towns in Sweden. It so charming with colorful, unsymmetrical and lopsided houses dating from the 1700's.

Along the shores of the enormous Vättern lake sits the quaint town of Gränna that smells like candy! The little red and white peppermint rock candies that look like pillows and still taste so good are from this adorable place.  In Swedish they are called polkagris. You can even watch how the candies are made in some of the stores.

In the village of Mariefred, which sits outside Stockholm, sits a gorgeous castle on the shores of Lake Mälaren. Gripsholm Slott is from the late 1300's and complete with a moat and drawbridge! Like a real castle should be! With the sun shining, boats drifting by and the smell of chestnut trees wafting through the air, it's absolutely lovely there. There is also an old rune stone from the Viking times.

Being Pregnant in Sweden

What's it like being pregnant in Sweden?

Well, it feels like I blend in with the rest of the female population. Looking around Stockholm there are women with massive strollers and pregnant bellies everywhere. Latte mamas who gather to drink coffee with their other gal pals who are also on mammaledig (maternity leave) with their small children.

I assume that due to the unexceptional manner of being pregnant here, and that women are seen as equals to men even when pregnant, that pregnant ladies do not get any special treatment. I watched my 9 month pregnant future sister-in-law ask for a seat on the bus after no one moved for several minutes. No one will ask if you need help with carrying your groceries or other heavy things. And there is absolutely no one patting your belly.

But on the other hand there are some other perks that I would never ever get in the US. The largest and most amazing is obviously the 18 month parental leave shared between both parents. YESSSS! And the free maternal healthcare in a country ranked as the second best place in the world to have a child... beat only by the amazing Finland where I just read that the government sends starter kits filled with diapers, warm clothes, food and other necessities to the parents of every single newborn! How freaking amazing is that?

Another thing I love about Sweden is the male involvement. In my Gravid app (Pregnancy app) there are sections that talks about the mom, the baby and the partner. Every week. In the partner section, for example, last week it talked about how the partner should think about what kind of parent he/she wants to be and about discussing the distribution of parenting duties with your pregnant lady. I just think it's so great!

As a result of being raised in Sweden, or just because he's awesome, Micke knows more about what's happening with this pregnancy than I do. When I complain about being out of breath he reminds me it's because I now have 40-50% more blood in my body. And not surprisingly, many men take a very active role in parenting here in Sweden. It's a lovely sight to see a group of men taking a walk with their strollers along the water.

But the last thing I want to bring up is the lack of judgement regarding kids before marriage. I think this is partly due to the fact that Swedish sambos (partners who live together) are seen as almost equally significant to married partners within the law and within society. When Micke and I decided to have a baby before we talked about getting married it seemed absolutely normal to us. Not only because neither of us thinks that a piece of paper changes the commitment you feel towards someone else, but also because the majority of our Swedish friends have one or two children before they decided to get married. Or they are engaged for an indefinite amount of time, during which they might also have a child. There is even research about it: http://www.nordicreach.com/its_about/lifestyle/135/

Even though this trend is increasingly common in the US I get nervous every single time I tell a friend of family member, mostly because after telling a few people I realized that everyone thinks I got knocked up. Having to respond to so many questions like, oh so does that mean you'll have a quick wedding before the baby comes? Or did you mess up your birth control? Or statements like, well at least you got engaged before you found out about the baby. I guess I never realized just how traditional so many people (including my 30 year old friends!) still are in the US. I mean, I don't come from Alabama or whatever. I will be excited to get married when we are ready, and when we can decide on a country in which to have a wedding. But until then, I am just excited about the little girl who is coming in January!!

First Visitors

This past month was so great, not only because the weather was sunny and warm almost every day, but because my SISTER and MOM came to visit! My first visitors in Sweden!!

It's always fun to show people around and to see a place that you've become accustomed to through fresh eyes. Their impressions of how quiet the city is (event hough it's busy compared to the winter when everyone was in hibernation), the sheer number and size of the strollers and how delicious and clean our water tastes.

My sister was only here for 2 days but we packed a lot into the time, including:

- Scenic overlooks in Södermalm
- Tour of Drottningholm Palace
- Boat trip through the archipelago
- A fika at Sturekatten
- Meeting my fiancé's siblings
- Skansen
- Vasa Museet
- Walk around Djurgården
- Rushed visit to Design Torget for a little Scandinavian shopping
- Drinks at Mosebacke
- Eating traditional Swedish food at Pelikan, including the very best Swedish meatballs (in my
  humble opinion)

Boat ride

Eating meatballs, with the requisite brown sauce, lingonberry sauce and pickles

After 11 PM in Södermalm 

Sami houses in Skansen Park

Drottningholm 

Lunch at Rosendals Trädgårdscafe in Djurgården 

Strong coffee and Swedish treats. A real fika.