Being Pregnant in Sweden

What's it like being pregnant in Sweden?

Well, it feels like I blend in with the rest of the female population. Looking around Stockholm there are women with massive strollers and pregnant bellies everywhere. Latte mamas who gather to drink coffee with their other gal pals who are also on mammaledig (maternity leave) with their small children.

I assume that due to the unexceptional manner of being pregnant here, and that women are seen as equals to men even when pregnant, that pregnant ladies do not get any special treatment. I watched my 9 month pregnant future sister-in-law ask for a seat on the bus after no one moved for several minutes. No one will ask if you need help with carrying your groceries or other heavy things. And there is absolutely no one patting your belly.

But on the other hand there are some other perks that I would never ever get in the US. The largest and most amazing is obviously the 18 month parental leave shared between both parents. YESSSS! And the free maternal healthcare in a country ranked as the second best place in the world to have a child... beat only by the amazing Finland where I just read that the government sends starter kits filled with diapers, warm clothes, food and other necessities to the parents of every single newborn! How freaking amazing is that?

Another thing I love about Sweden is the male involvement. In my Gravid app (Pregnancy app) there are sections that talks about the mom, the baby and the partner. Every week. In the partner section, for example, last week it talked about how the partner should think about what kind of parent he/she wants to be and about discussing the distribution of parenting duties with your pregnant lady. I just think it's so great!

As a result of being raised in Sweden, or just because he's awesome, Micke knows more about what's happening with this pregnancy than I do. When I complain about being out of breath he reminds me it's because I now have 40-50% more blood in my body. And not surprisingly, many men take a very active role in parenting here in Sweden. It's a lovely sight to see a group of men taking a walk with their strollers along the water.

But the last thing I want to bring up is the lack of judgement regarding kids before marriage. I think this is partly due to the fact that Swedish sambos (partners who live together) are seen as almost equally significant to married partners within the law and within society. When Micke and I decided to have a baby before we talked about getting married it seemed absolutely normal to us. Not only because neither of us thinks that a piece of paper changes the commitment you feel towards someone else, but also because the majority of our Swedish friends have one or two children before they decided to get married. Or they are engaged for an indefinite amount of time, during which they might also have a child. There is even research about it: http://www.nordicreach.com/its_about/lifestyle/135/

Even though this trend is increasingly common in the US I get nervous every single time I tell a friend of family member, mostly because after telling a few people I realized that everyone thinks I got knocked up. Having to respond to so many questions like, oh so does that mean you'll have a quick wedding before the baby comes? Or did you mess up your birth control? Or statements like, well at least you got engaged before you found out about the baby. I guess I never realized just how traditional so many people (including my 30 year old friends!) still are in the US. I mean, I don't come from Alabama or whatever. I will be excited to get married when we are ready, and when we can decide on a country in which to have a wedding. But until then, I am just excited about the little girl who is coming in January!!